8dp5dt: Second Beta Results

The office just called with my beta from this morning: 63!  That is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!!  The doubling time was 27.13 hours. My second beta with Jack was 40. Needless to say, I am over the moon!!!!!

My first ultrasound is July 7th (6w0d).

My due date is March 2, 2011.

Also, today is our 4th wedding anniversary.  I have Calculus tonight and Forest is working on a paper, so we're not really doing anything to celebrate today. Maybe over the weekend we'll have a nice dinner out (one of our favorite activities).  We have A LOT to celebrate, after all!!!!

Forest had these sent to work.  He is a keeper, for sure :)

Thank you all for the congratulatory comments. Your support is invaluable to me!!! 

We're not planning to spread the news in real life for awhile.  Right now I feel like waiting until 20 weeks!  We'll see how it goes. The only people who know right now are Katie and my friend Kim.  Forest is going to tell his kids this week, but other than that, we're going to wait.  So, if you know me in real life, help me keep it on the down low, pretty please?

7dp5dt: A Little Less Ghost...A Little More Line...And a Beta to Boot!

Well, thankfully, the lines are ever so slowly getting ever so modestly darker.

From this morning:

You can see this one without using your imagination, right?


Also, I got my beta from yesterday (6dp5dt): 21. With Jack, my beta at 6dp5dt was 18.


In the way of symptoms, I've had some cramps today (that's a good thing, right?) and I am so.freaking.tired!  Also, I maybe felt ever so slightly nauseous this afternoon.  YAY!!! I'll cherish every moment of it!

I am still feeling really good about everything. Although, I don't think my prediction about twins is going to bear out, given these faint positives and that singleton-esque beta. Time will tell, I guess!

Second beta is tomorrow. Yay!!!

5dp5dt: Wanna See My Ghost Line?

Well, I tested this morning...


...I tested yesterday morning too (at 4dp5dt) just to make sure the trigger shot was out of my system...which it was. 


For what purpose would one have a trigger shot during an FET?, you ask? My clinic says the hormonal environment should mimic an ovulatory cycle as much as possible.


I woke up around 5 am today and knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep without testing...so I did.  I promise there is the faintest, slightest, hint of a bordering-on-imaginary line.  Here is the picture Forest took, holding it up to the light: 

It's the + sign = BFP kind

Hmmmmmm....you can't see it? Even if you tilt your head? Even if you look at your screen at an angle? Well you'll just have to use your imagination, then!!!


Here it is in black & white with the color boosted by 9 times (that seems mutually exclusive, doesn't it? Well NOTHING is too hard for my MacBrook Pro):

How about now? You see it now, right? Right?


Okay, so I took this one at 5:00 pm. Can you see this one?

It's there...fo' sho - a bit more noticeable in person.  I can see it. It's my favorite one so far. :)


My first beta is tomorrow, but they don't typically provide the results of that one unless you ask, specifically, and it's not a STAT order, so they claim they don't get the results until the following day (which I happen to know is not true, depending on the time of day one has one's blood drawn, but I digress).  The second beta is Wednesday and they call with the results of that one.


Of course I will test tomorrow morning too, at which time I'm hoping to see a bit more line and a bit less ghost.  


I am still very optimistic - I figure negative thoughts don't do ANY good and, at least in my case, negative thoughts don't help prepare me for disappointment, should some be looming in my future. So it's positive thoughts only up in here!!!!


I am also very excited that I got to meet a friend from the Internets last night!  My friend Jen from the What to Expect When You're Expecting (WTE) board we used to post on came to vacation in St. Louis and she wanted to meet me!!!!!!!! We went to the Royale Dumpe - a 16th Century Dinner Theatre.  A fun time was had by all :)

So, uh, let me know, Jen, if you don't want me to post your picture on the Internet, and I'll take it down!!! :) But isn't she cute!?!??!? She wonderful and has such a sweet spirit. I am honored that she wanted to meet me. 


I feel very blessed to have "met" such wonderful ladies, like Jen, over these troubling years.  You are definitely infertility's silver lining!!! Love you all, MUAH!

Glowing

So a co-worker came into my cube today to talk work stuff, but he kept getting distracted by how "radiant" I looked.  He actually said that I was "glowing" and he asked me what was different.  He asked if I had gotten some sun or what I changed. I said, "Maybe it's because my hair is getting longer?" (I'm not quite ready to be spreading the potential news among co-workers!).


He's a bit of a flirt in general, but it's nice to know I look happy enough to appear to be "glowing" already!  


He is an MD, so maybe his diagnostic skills are just.that.good ;) We're 2dp5dt :)

3 Blasts Left

My coordinator at the RE gave me the "particulars" on our frozen blasts:  


They froze the 6 we had "2, 2, 1, 1", meaning two were frozen in pairs and two more were frozen separately.  I didn't ask how they decided to do that, or if the configuration had anything to do with the quality of the blasts in November.  But, the bottom line is that they did a slow-thaw of 2 yesterday morning and then, when we got there yesterday afternoon, decided to thaw one more with the "quick-thaw" procedure for whatever reason.  Maybe one of the slow-thaws didn't have a high cell survival rate? I dunno (which is why I put "particulars" in quotes!). But, anyway, we transferred 3 and we have 3 left. So that's cool! :)


My 24-hours of bed rest has now come to an end. I'm going to get off the couch now and take a shower and go to class. I started Calculus on Monday (again).  I'm actually going to finish the class this time...I promise!!!

Mah Bay-bees

Pictures as promised! Hey - I'm on bedrest, so I can fulfill my blogging obligations for 24 hours!


Here are the Crawford Triplets as of 1:30 pm CST June 15, 2010:

I believe that the bigger two are the "slow-thaw" blasts they started warming up this morning.  And I guess the third one is from a quick-thaw this afternoon.  It doesn't really seem like they followed my thawing instructions...and I don't know yet whether there was a 4th one that was thawed and didn't make it...details, details - they're light on them at this office.


And here I am enjoying the "recovery room" with a bladder very full of 2 very large margaritas (one pear and one pomegranate):

So far I feel strangely optimistic.  I say it's twins: a boy and a girl.  Hey - I was right about Jack wasn't I?  Let's see if I can get luckier with the whole staying pregnant part this time...


My first beta is MONDAY! I plan to POAS Sunday.

Triplets for now...

Well, we transferred 3 lovely blasts, so I'm pregnant with triplets for now :)


I'll post pics soon - I'm still in the supine position with a bladder full of 2 margaritas...

Transfer Day!

Only 4 hours and 47 minutes till transfer!!! I'm excited!!!!!

A (really) personal question

A question for my fellow IVF-ers out there,  if you don't mind my asking (if you do mind, of course, you can just refuse to answer): what was your RE's recommendation for having sex after embryo transfer?  My clinic recommends waiting until after the first ultrasound (when I'll be 5w4d), but there are certain people around here who are getting restless (I won't name names).  Has anyone else's MD been so conservative on the sex front?

Your answers will be greatly appreciated :)

In other news...I have none. Everything is A-OK over here so far. We're busy cleaning the house (um...how is that, Amy, since you're posting a blog entry?) for my nieces and nephews to come over tonight for our Annual Elf Watching and Lasagna Eating (catchy name, huh).  We got an early Christmas present to make this tradition more awesome this year: a 40" LCD HDTV (40" is MORE than enough for our wee living room) with a Blu-Ray player and surround sound (woo hoo!).

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

Betas

Sooooo...


My beta on Wedesday at 6dp5dt (11 dpo) was 18 and on Friday at 8dp5dt (13 dpo) it was 40. So that is very good!!!! Unfortunately the cute beta graph that everyone else has doesn't start until 12 dpo, so I can't really get my line to appear on it, but, from what I understand, those numbers are nearly perfect for a singleton pregnancy.


So, of course, we're very excited.  


When I got the BFP (gosh, I still can't believe a get to type "I" and "BFP" in the same sentence!) on Tuesday I was soooooooo excited - I told a ton of people.  I told my co-workers Eliza, Julie, Shawn, Brian (who told additional co-worker Jonathan), Jan (who didn't know it was a "secret" and started talking about it somewhat loudly in my very quiet open office), and Ed. I told Katie, my friend Kim, my sister, the blogosphere, and my old friends from my very first "TTC" board (we were the "TTC Spring/Summer 2007" crew. This BFP has been a LONG TIME COMING).  


So that's a lot of people to tell that you're five minutes pregnant.  Not necessarily wise, right? But I was FREAKING EXCITED, okay?  Plus I was 0% worried.  ZERO PERCENT.  I just felt like I am totally pregnant now and on July 31, 2010 I am totally bringing home a perfect, healthy baby.  I put a floating baby widget on my freaking blog.


Forest has since told his boss, all the co-workers in his immediate group (who are also pretty much my co-workers since we work at the same company), a bunch of other co-workers (including one woman to whom he announced it when we ran into her at a restaurant), and some friends he went out with last night.


On Thursday I started to get nervous.  I called for that first beta result and when it was an 18 I got scared.  That sounds soooooo low.  Most betas I hear are much higher than that.  Of course, I know most clinics don't test at freaking 11 dpo, but still. 18?  I started getting upset when Forest would tell people.


Then I got the 2nd beta: 40 and that should totally reassure me, right? It's the perfect number for 13 dpo...but the doubling time was 41.67 hours, whereas the mean for that range is, like, 31...so...you see where this is going...


DOUBT.


I am now just like every other infertile who finally achieves pregnancy: I am worried.  When I was pregnant with Katie I never ONCE worried I would miscarry. I didn't take multiple HPTs - I got one positive and never doubted again that I was pregnant.  I try to reassure myself with that.  I try to reassure myself with all kinds of things, but it's not working too well.


Then, last night, I was walking back from going out for drinks (my drink was iced tea, don't worry) with two co-workers (to whom I also announced my pregnancy) after an all-day off-site meeting, when my heel caught on a cobblestone and I twisted my ankle and fell on my butt (hurting my pride most of all, although my ankle is all swollen and bruised).  Forest's reaction? "You can't be falling down!!!"  Mmmmm Hmmmm. Thanks, babe. I didn't exactly do it on purpose!  But, of course, I was already worried that my fall had popped our precious baby right out of my uterine lining.  Yes, I know that's silly - I have pretty short legs - a fall to the ground really isn't very far - but still.  Worry.


Forest has promised not to tell any more co-workers who work at my office (I told him he could still tell people who work at his location).  I haven't decided whether I'll tell the rest of my family at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  


My first ultrasound is December 2nd.  That's not too far away, right?  Surely I'll feel reassured after that, huh? Deep breaths (and no more heels/cobblestones) till then.

6dp5dt - No Symptoms; Beta Drawn

I guess I don't really need to fill in this whole post-y part since I gave my whole update in the title there.  I continue to experience no symptoms and I continue to "know" that it is too early for symptoms, but I want them anyway.  There really isn't anything other than nausea that I wouldn't attribute to the progesterone, so I should just pipe down about it, but it's weird to finally be pregnant and feel, literally, no differently.

Thank you all so much for your well-wishes yesterday. You helped make BFP Day the best ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first beta was drawn today, but the RE's office doesn't call with first beta results. They wait for the results of the second beta to ensure that the numbers are doubling as expected. 

My stomach looks ridiculous due to the Lovenox injections.  I have 3 very large bruises and a ton of little tiny ones for each injection site.  I assure you it's quite lovely looking, really.

Luckily I only have to do the PIO shots every 3rd night. It's some new-fangled, fancy formulation that's long acting.  I then supplement twice daily with the lovely vaginal progesterone suppositories. Ewww.

So, that's all I've got. Zero symptoms...twiddling my thumbs until Friday's 2nd beta result.

Oh, and still over the moon and delighted and thankful and thrilled and overwhelmed with joy :)

I'M PREGNANT

BFP.  I'm shaking.

(It's the one line = "sucks to be you"; two lines = "yay!" kind)

I used to have all sorts of awesome ideas about cute ways to tell everyone but those all just flew out the window. 

I called Forest. He was against my going to Walgreens to get a test. I promised him I wouldn't...but then I did anyway.  I called him (while he was out to lunch with his boss) and I said, "You are going to be really mad at me." and he said, "Oh please. I knew what you were going to do." and I said, "But it's really good news!" 

I realize that announcement was not cute, clever, romantic, or anything, but I was too excited.

5dp5dt

I'm cracking. I'm giving in. I'm going out at lunch to get a basket of pregnancy tests. And by "lunch" I mean 11:00 - the earliest possible "lunchtime".  Am I crazy? Am I setting myself up for disappointment? It's not FMU. It's still awfully early...

...or is 10 dpo early?

I dunno.

I'm so weak.

Help me.

You have 59 minutes to talk sense into me...or I'm driving to Walgeens.

4dp5dt

I remember when abbreviations like "4dp5dt" were unintelligible to me.  In case there is an innocent reading my blog, that means "four days past 5-day transfer", or...am I pregnant? When should I pee on a stick? (becuase we ALL know I'm not waiting for a stinking beta no matter how ridiculously early it's scheduled).  This is basically equivalent to 9dpo in a "normal" cycle.

I wish I felt pregnant. I wish I would throw up on my keyboard right now because someone walked by my cubicle with a lunch that would normally not bother me but, in my knocked up state, caused me to projectile vomit.  Yes, my brain is fully aware that such symptoms do not generally occur at this early, early stage, but what I wouldn't give!

I had a little "feeling" last night that I am pregnant, with one boy. How weird is that?  If you don't know me, it may not sound weird at all, but I've really never been able to picture myself having a boy.  When Katie was born I was soooooooooooooooooooo relieved she was a girl. Back in that day (1994) my doctor didn't do routine ultrasounds.  He was very old school.  He felt that women had been having babies without the information provided in an ultrasound for millenia and that, barring any indication of a problem with the pregnancy, ultrasounds just represented another needless imaging procedure contributing to skyrocketting healthcare costs.  How NOT FUN is that?  But, alas, he was the one calling the shots and I was the one with the non-problematic pregnancy, so I couldn't really complain.  But it would've been *nice* to know that I would soon have a precious baby girl instead of a...boy (I'll leave out any negative description about how I would have felt about having a boy). But, now, I think I'm trying to get my mind around the (very real) possibility that I could be incubating a blastocyst whose genome contains a Y-chromosome.

Katie is being all super adorable about the prospect of a baby brother or sister.  Which is good - her reaction could easily go either way.  Her dad has 2 kids from his current marraige - girls aged 3 and 4.  Her emotions about them range pretty broadly (from UGH - they are SO ANNOYING/BABIES SUCK to AWWWW - I LOVE THESE TWO) but I feared we'd be dealing with a whole new thing if someone else dared to move into HER mommy's uterus.  But, so far, she's being very positive and sweet.  I think she's more comfortable that we did IVF so she can imagine the conception as a decidedly non-intimate phenomenon.  So, you know, you're welcome, Katie :).

Anyway, that's my update - not much of an update. Just wishin' I was pregnant...but that's sort of the theme of the blog...so you didn't really need me to tell you that today...but...anyway...nevermind. 

Signing off now!

B1 and B2

Two beautiful blasts were transferred this afternoon and there are FIVE to freeze!!!! I am thrilled with this outcome.  They said that one of the blasts is Grade 1 and the other is Grade 2 and they referred to them as B1 and B2.  Is anyone else familiar with Bananas in Pajamas? That was all I could think about. Every time they would say "this one's B1" or "that one's B2" I would crack up.  I guess whatever puts one in a good mood for the transfer is a good thing, huh?   


The transfer itself was totally great. I was worried my bladder wouldn't be full enough, since I didn't really have to pee at all, but he didn't mention any issue, so *thankfully* I didn't have to lay there for 45 minutes afterwards with an uncomfortably full bladder. Plus, Dr. Ahlering ROCKS the speculum! It did.not.hurt.at.all. I couldn't believe it - not even the usual pinch when he cranked open my cervix.  I think he is heaven sent.


I present...The Babies Crawford:

That's B1 on the bottom and B2 on top. Doesn't B1 kind of look like a smiley face?


Here is some Bananas in Pajamas fun, in case you haven't had the pleasure:



My sister said she would make them PJ's and visors when they're born (not that I'm counting my bananas before they hatch - but I am pregnant with twins until proven otherwise).  


Betas are next Wednesday and Friday (super soon!!!)

Transfer Day

Well - this is it! We are transferring *something* at 2:00 pm.  They called to schedule it a few minutes ago, but the scheduler had NO information other than that the lab called and told her to schedule the transfer. 

I will find out when I get there (with a "comfortably full bladder") what the status of each of the 13 little ones is.  But presumably at least one hung in there!

I'll post afterwards.

Thank you for all of your comments and well-wishes, you are too kind!!!!!!