Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Saturday, September 25, 2010

17w3d: I'm home

I should feel relieved, right? After the nightmare of last Sunday, I should be on top of the world, yes?  And, of course I am...for the most part.  I told Forest I felt like we were walking through the depths of Hell and got snatched out and I still can't catch my breath.  

Thank you all for your comments and prayers and hugs. I hate that so many of us know what this terror is like.

I was basically incredulous when the peri told me on Monday that he wasn't convinced I was ruptured. I thought he was crazy.  I told him there was A LOT of fluid and he said, "I believe you" but I don't think he did.  My OB said maybe I peed and didn't realize it.  Uh, NO - I'm quite certain I didn't.  But the medical professionals seem content to leave the fluid an unsolved mystery.  And I didn't have any more leaking in the hospital and the fluid levels around both babes continued to be stable all week.

And then they sent me home. And now I am terrified.  The peri on Friday said that the hematoma puts me at increased risk for ruptured membranes down the road and my OB said that the part of Zoe's placenta in front of the bleed is now non-functioning and they'll have to monitor her for IUGR.  Those two risks have me pretty much freaking out.

How does one relax in this situation? Or should I just get used to this state of sadness and anxiety that we're still 6 weeks and 4 days from the raw edge of viability?

As I attempt to think positively, I am picking out "Coming Home" outfits for the babies.  It's so much easier to find adorable things for girls.  Where do I find the boy equivalent to this sweet jumper?

I am just trying to focus on how much I love these precious ones and cherish every moment I have with them.  Here's a shot of Egan from yesterday's scan. I think he looks like his daddy. Forest says it's the haircut ;)

Much love to you all!


Jamie said...

Continue to think positively and continue to shop. That is the best advice I have!! Truthfully, it is going to be impossible to keep the worry and bad outcomes out of your thoughts. So don't feel bad if you do have that fleeting "What if" thoughts. It is perfectly normal and I know I would if I were in your situation.

We're all cheering for you (and your cerivx!) and counting down the days until you bring the babies home. And, sadly, there aren't near as many cute clothes out there for boys as there are for girls. I don't understand it - I mean, boys have to wear clothes, too. Why are the stores 3/4 full of girl clothes?!?!

Jennifer said...

Oh sweetie, I am sooo sorry you are going through all of this drama and trauma! I have been out of touch with my blogs and such this week and am just getting caught up now.

I am praying... and will keep praying... for a long pregnancy. Christmas is coming and you will still be pregnant!!! :) If you are on bed rest, I will demand Forest bring the tree to your bedside.

Sending you hugs and love from Iowa... Jen

Courtney said...

I am so sorry you have all this to deal with. I will continue to pray and think only positive thoughts for those babies!

The jumper is adorable! Since so many people say how lucky I am to have one of each **cough Ahem**... maybe you could go ahead and dress him in a pink jumper. I mean obviously pink is ok for boys!

Love the u/s and F's pic! They do look alike!

Love ya! Take care and rest! This is going to be just a bad memory once we get these babies home happy, healthy, and safely!

Jill M. said...

You poor thing, you must be so stressed out! As if we didn't worry enough when all's perfect. How can they tell that part of a placenta is nonfunctioning?

Love the comparison pics of Egan and Forrest!

'Murgdan' said...

I cannot even imagine...I'm thinking of you (and you'd better keep updating so I know you're okay!!!). May the next few months go by with NO MORE bumps in the road. Glad you're little ones are doing well now...

sarah said...

I was away for the weekend and was so worried reading over the last couple of blogs. I'm so glad you are at home and resting well and everyone is just fine. Geeze, what a scary ordeal! I'm so sorry!! I've got you and your twinkies in my thoughts.

I'm with you on the boy clothes business. I think we ended up going with a Carter's frog outfit for Evan. Not loads of choices for boys.

Jennifer said...

So, I was thinking about your "water breaking but not" over the weekend. Did it ever occur to any of your health care providers that one or both of the twins could have been "double-bagged?" (Sidebar, I think that expression is completely hilarious.)

I have a friend who had multiple ultrasounds, but no one ever noticed she had two amniotic sacs surrounding her singleton baby girl. She went to the hospital when her water broke. 10 hours of labor later, her OB says, "Well let's break your water to get things going here." She and her nurse explain that already happened. The OB says, "Ok, well let's break your SECOND bag then." Apparently it's not completely uncommon.

Sommers Family said...

Continuing with the positive thoughts and prayers for you and your little ones. Thank you for updating us.

The outfit is just adorable; good luck on the search for Egan's outfit!

Stay rested and relaxed.


PJ said...

I'm catching up. WOW, what a scare! I'm so glad everyone's ok!

Keep thinking positively.

Sarah said...

Amy, sweetheart, I am SO sorry I didnt see these posts earlier! I'm sorry you're going through all of this! You, your husband and your babies are in my thoughts.

Love ya honey!