Now, I aim to be nice to people - I do not intend to go around offending others, so I try to behave. But the truth is, I am often smug and judgmental in my head.
Before I learned some of the harder lessons my life has had to teach me so far (e.g., infertility, 2nd trimester miscarriage), I was soooooooooo smug. I counted myself among the most fertile fertiles ever. I thought I was awesome at baby-having because my labor with Katie was <4 hours and I recovered quickly. I nursed Katie (she also got formula when she was in the care of others because breast pumps in 1994 were crappy) for a long, long time. I was pretty smug about it too.
Before I had Katie, I didn't realize that there were people who didn't even attempt to breastfeed for whatever reason (keep in mind I was 17 - there was a lot I didn't know about the world). Upon learning this, I thought these people who preferred formula were ridiculous and selfish. I was smug because I felt like I could make a better decision about nourishing my baby at 17 than women who were twice my age. Katie has been a freakishly healthy child. She got strep throat in Kindergarten and a sinus infection followed by chicken pox in 7th grade and that is literally IT for her history of infectious diseases (other than occasional sniffles). I, of course, have always attributed this to the superpower of my breast milk and my generally awesome mothering.
I have always been similarly smug about my disdain for scheduled C-sections. Apparently, I chalked them all up to mothers and doctors choosing convenience over nature - a notion I have rolled my eyes at on more than one occasion. Until this morning.
When my OB brought up this topic, my first inclination was "vaginal, of course". Then she started talking about the complications of twin deliveries. She said that usually, once Baby A is delivered, Baby B turns head down and comes on out with no trouble. Or, even if Baby B is breech, they don't worry because Baby A just fit through the cervix, so it's no big deal. BUT - sometimes Baby B drops its cord because of the space left when Baby A is delivered and then we're in an emergency C-section situation.
This description nearly caused me to have a panic attack. I couldn't believe myself. I may have a higher opinion of my stoicism than what is supported by reality (a likely case, since I am, in general, smug) but I tend to think I can keep a level head and I was shocked by my reaction. I guess the thought of losing Baby B to cord prolapse after all of this was too much for my neurons to process. I told my OB that talking about it was making me anxious so she said, "Then we'll stop talking about it" and said that we don't need a decision today or even at the next appointment but it's something I should start
So now I suddenly realize that there can be actual reasons to schedule a C-section (I mean, who knew?) and I think it is what I'm leaning toward. I guess I am just getting my comeuppance all around, huh?
11 comments:
My friend had boy/girl twins, with one being born vaginally and one c-section for the exact reason. They're cute little 4 year olds now! She does not recommend going that route if you have a choice. She said the recovery is a little rough. :) Good luck!
Duddde. I'm so sorry you are/have been dealing with bleeding (even if it is old) for 3 weeks. Grr. Stay strong!
My thoughts on da birthin' o' babies (please take or leave): Vaginial birth > Planned C-section > Emergency C-section
Seriously, if you can go planned and there is a goodly reason to think you could otherwise end up emergency c-section - go planned.
An emergency means super medical experience with people in a flurry. Scheduled means its a calm relaxed atmosphere, lots of support and focus on meeting your babies.
My smugness taught me a hard lesson. I have since learned a c-sxn is probably much easier if it doesn't occur in an *emergency* after 5 gazillion hours of hard labor. I was a stubborn snotty 'I can do it better than you' brat and my body taught me a new form of humility.
It was only my lesson of course...but if I ever did it again (and I won't), I will try for a vaginal (utilizing my friendly epidural most likely), but will give in easily if things didn't progress quickly.
And if I were having two...I'd be calling the scheduling line.
All your choice. I wish you the best in everything. And truthfully I imagine a vaginal recovery, twins or not, is a LOT easier. Can't they try to let you vaginally deliver in an OR so they can do the section quickly if need be?
I'm pretty much with what Sarah said, though. Planned would be just such calmness and simplicity...Emergency means...well, I still have nightmares and flashbacks.
Amy- Ok I too had the choice and I have not birthed anything before or since the girls and since I am NOT a MD I can only respond to my experience.
I did the girls vaginally, you know this already. I was in the OR for the birth. No nice L&D bed for me. Anyway, my DR had assured and reassured me at least 1000xes if not more that after delivering baby A, he could get baby B out in less than 2 mins if something should go wrong and not do a c-sec. I did tell him I did not want to have to recover vaginally and c-sec, so we had to do one way or the other.
Lara's cord did not fall and such and in the grand scheme of things, I know now I am lucky to have them and have delivered them with no issues.
I too obsessed after losses and all. So I only slightly know how you feel since I had 1st trimester losses. I don't know what to tell you, but you have some time to think... and obsess.
Sorry you are still dealing with bleeding. That sucks! let me know if you want just an ear to listen. I am hear for ya! MUAH!
As a mommy who has had a c-section and a vaginal delivery, here's my perspective... Emergency c-sections suck it up the wazoo. (Eloquent, I know.) But I think all c-sections are sucky, unless they save lives. Then they are sooo not sucky.
C-section is major abdominal surgery with many of its own potential complications, some of which might be statistically more likely than a cord prolapse in Baby B. I have no idea.
My advice? Do your own homework (which I know you will do). And then make the decision that's right for you.
But don't just do what the doc tells you to do. I've learned that's not always the best way to go. :-\
This link might help.... or it might annoy you more. Take a look when you're feeling completely calm, and stop if you start to feel anxious. I hereby declare anxiety as a violation we will not tolerate for you! :)
www.ican-online.com
That is a lot to think about and consider. It's funny because I always assumed I'd have a c-section. Not sure why, I just never thought a baby would make it out of there. I was quite surprised when one did. It must be harder with twins. You are forced to plan ahead a little more than you would with a singleton.
I have had both a vaginal delivery of a 9 lb baby boy and a c-section delivery of an 11 lb baby boy. My 11 lb baby was so NOT gonna fit out of 10 cm even though I tried to delivery him naturally (mostly because I am afraid of severing my muscles and having surgery) but then I ended up with the c-section anyhow. The recovery was 10,000 times better with the vaginal delivery than the c-section. I couldn't turn over in bed, breastfeeding was difficult because I couldn't move a whole lot and I was on narcotics that made me constipated. Lovely- I know. My suggestion is to listen to what your body says and if you have to go for the c-section, I am 9 weeks past mine and I am doing fine!!
Not comeuppance...arming yourself with up to date knowledge and making the best informed decision for your family. These are tough decisions, but that's why we are the mamas right? Do what you and Forrest feel is right for you guys. He may have an opinion or two that might help you make your decision.
Glad the twins are doing well. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Both my kids were breech...after trying to turn our son, we had to schedule a c-section. Then, when our daughter wanted to see us 3 months too early, we found out she was also breech when the did the "is all ok" ultrasound...and another scheduled c-section after the labor was finally stopped. I felt like a failure - until I held that beautiful, healthy baby. Both my recoveries were ok...you will, of course, make the best decision for your family, but c-sections are not all the "bad" they're cracked up to be sometimes:) Hugs to you and the babies!!
Hey, just found your blog. I'm not much behind you. Your story is so amazing.
I know just what you mean. A long, long time ago, I used to think I had it all figured out. Then I realized I was at the mercy of whatever would get my baby on this planet safely.
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