22w4d: Updating

Hello everyone.  I am a slacker blogger, but you ALL knew that already, so that's not an update!


But, last week I did have the big anatomy scan and we were very happy that everything checked out a-OK.

• Both babies alive: Check! Heartbeats were both measured at 144 bpm.  Zoe is actually QUITE the wiggler, but she has an anterior placenta so I don't actually feel much.  On the ultrasound we saw her stretch completely out. 

Exhibit A: a completely outstretched Zoe leg:

• Cervix holding strong: Check! It measured 3.8 cm. Apparently that was so reassuring that the MFM said that we are going to stop checking it. Wow.
• No growth restriction on Zoe: Check! She actually measured one day ahead of him (which was a very, very slight difference. They each measured an approximate 15 ounces :)
• Normal babies: Check! The MFM said he saw "no major problems". I said, "Do you see any minor or moderate problems?" and he said in a robot voice, "No problems have been detected at this time."  

Also, the hematoma was not visible at all. So, perhaps it has completely healed. That would rock.

So, it couldn't have been better. My next appointment with them was scheduled for 4 weeks later and it's marked as a "Basic" ultrasound. What does that entail, do you think? Just counting them and making sure they have heartbeats? "Yep - there's still 2 of them. Come back in 4 weeks."  Oh well, it was nice to leave with absolutely nothing to obsess over for a change.

The Mothers of Twins Club meeting was fun.  I didn't expect it to have an open bar!  For some reason that struck me as very funny.  I am now officially a member and have access to their neat-o website with a forum for questions like, "What's the best diaper bag?" and "What convertible car seat does everyone recommend?".  Pretty cool.  They also do fun outings like a hayride and breakfast with Santa & stuff.  I look forward to partaking in that next year!

I guess that's it for me - I will leave you with a few cute pics, as requested by Misty :)

Exhibit B: Zoe's Face

Exhibit C: Whole Zoe

Exhibit D: Egan's Face

Exhibit E: Egan's Feet

Exhibit F: Egan says, "See you next time!"

Muah!

Amy

21w1d: Dare I Say I'm Feeling Better?

After 4 weeks, the bleeding *finally* stopped.  I am now going on 4 days of virtually no blood.  I can't describe how much better it feels to see nothing disturbing.  I guess I didn't fully appreciate the toll the constant bleeding was taking on my emotions, but once it stopped, I started feeling better right away.

We go next Tuesday for the big anatomy scan. I am looking forward to that. I am hoping to get some assurance that:

1. Both babies are alive (I feel kicking, but it always feels like Egan rather than Zoe...but she does have an anterior placenta...but, you know, it will just be nice to have confirmation)
2. My cervix is holding strong
3. Zoe's growth is the same as Egan's
4. They don't have any abnormalities

I am going to my first MOTC (Mothers of Twins Club) meeting tonight. I am pretty excited - I wonder how big the group will be? Unfortunately they already had their Fall sale for this year and their next sale isn't till the Spring (i.e., after the babies are born).  I hope to get some advice on baby gear & stuff like that. It will be interesting to see what it's like. Maybe I'll meet someone else expecting twins around the same time as me. That would be cool.

Well, I guess that's about it for me. 2 weeks and 6 days till viability! YAY!!!

19w2d: Have we talked about how to deliver these babies?

Perhaps in an attempt to draw my focus away from the length of my cervix at Tuesday's perinatal appointment (3.6 cm), the fact that I continue to have significant "old blood" discharge (going on 3 weeks now), or that I somehow lost 6 pounds since my last OB appointment (4 weeks ago), my OB decided to shift to a discussion of the end game: vaginal delivery vs. Caesarian. This decision is, apparently, totally up to me.


Now, I aim to be nice to people - I do not intend to go around offending others, so I try to behave.  But the truth is, I am often smug and judgmental in my head.


Before I learned some of the harder lessons my life has had to teach me so far (e.g., infertility, 2nd trimester miscarriage), I was soooooooooo smug.  I counted myself among the most fertile fertiles ever.  I thought I was awesome at baby-having because my labor with Katie was <4 hours and I recovered quickly.  I nursed Katie (she also got formula when she was in the care of others because breast pumps in 1994 were crappy) for a long, long time.  I was pretty smug about it too.  


Before I had Katie, I didn't realize that there were people who didn't even attempt to breastfeed for whatever reason (keep in mind I was 17 - there was a lot I didn't know about the world). Upon learning this, I thought these people who preferred formula were ridiculous and selfish.  I was smug because I felt like I could make a better decision about nourishing my baby at 17 than women who were twice my age.  Katie has been a freakishly healthy child.  She got strep throat in Kindergarten and a sinus infection followed by chicken pox in 7th grade and that is literally IT for her history of infectious diseases (other than occasional sniffles).  I, of course, have always attributed this to the superpower of my breast milk and my generally awesome mothering.


I have always been similarly smug about my disdain for scheduled C-sections.  Apparently, I chalked them all up to mothers and doctors choosing convenience over nature - a notion I have rolled my eyes at on more than one occasion.  Until this morning.


When my OB brought up this topic, my first inclination was "vaginal, of course". Then she started talking about the complications of twin deliveries.  She said that usually, once Baby A is delivered, Baby B turns head down and comes on out with no trouble.  Or, even if Baby B is breech, they don't worry because Baby A just fit through the cervix, so it's no big deal.  BUT - sometimes Baby B drops its cord because of the space left when Baby A is delivered and then we're in an emergency C-section situation.


This description nearly caused me to have a panic attack. I couldn't believe myself.  I may have a higher opinion of my stoicism than what is supported by reality (a likely case, since I am, in general, smug) but I tend to think I can keep a level head and I was shocked by my reaction. I guess the thought of losing Baby B to cord prolapse after all of this was too much for my neurons to process. I told my OB that talking about it was making me anxious so she said, "Then we'll stop talking about it" and said that we don't need a decision today or even at the next appointment but it's something I should start freaking out obsessing thinking about. 


So now I suddenly realize that there can be actual reasons to schedule a C-section (I mean, who knew?) and I think it is what I'm leaning toward.  I guess I am just getting my comeuppance all around, huh?