Decisions, decisions

So - I bet you all thought I wasn't doing this whole blogging, keeping up with my cyber-friends, letting people know I'm still alive thing, huh? 


I guess I just haven't had much to say. I was, seriously, like 94.7% ready to throw in the towel: to be content with my perfect husband and beautiful daughter and just wait for grandkids. Or, hopefully, step-grandkids (Katie is, after all, only 14). But now I'm thinking I might get back on the old horse. I started my period 38 days ago, but I didn't call the IVF Hut like they told me to. I tested on Saturday because I was a whole week late. Doesn't that mean I'm pregnant? HAH! It might mean a girl with normally functioning ovaries is pregnant but - if anything - I think it's been established that my ovaries are straight up f'd up. 


So now I figure I'm going to have to call some sort of doctor person to get some progesterone just so I can have my period. I don't just want to leave my uterus to its own devices because it gets sad and lonely for a baby to grow and starts growing polyps instead. One thing I've decided is that I'm definitely done with George. I feel my options at this point are:

1. Call the IVF Hut and give it another go (what do I have to lose? My flexible spending account is just sitting there with $2K in it - what else am I going to spend it on? I don't need that many contact lenses)
2. Call a doctor my sister recommended (she is a physician recruiter for a nearby hospital). She got a PhD in molecular biology before getting her MD. I made my sister send me her CV to prove it. I am tired of doctors who insult my intelligence and say BS things. I want a genius doctor who is patient-focused and compassionate. That's not too much to ask, right?
3. Call George's brother - the other IVF show in town. Actually, there's a third IVF show in town - the guy who did Forest's vasectomy reversal - but he doesn't like what the insurance companies will pay him so he makes you pay up front and get reimbursed yourself afterwards (and you have to pay the non-insurance-discounted price). I don't think my $2K flexible spending account will cover that. The pro of this choice would be that I wouldn't have to talk to the IVF Hut people (whom I hate, in case I hadn't mentioned that).

Have I even explained why I'm calling them the IVF Hut? Probably not. I basically feel like they have 3 protocols that they fit everyone in to and they don't treat the IVF-ees like individuals. They don't deserve to be called reproductive endocrinologists.
They just gave me a '#1 with a side of ICSI' and didn't do anything to treat any underlying conditions that may be contributing to my anovulation (like, uhhhh, PCOS!?!?!?). If I go back there, they better at least give me fries this time.
I'm not sure these ramblings even make sense outside my head. You probably wish I hadn't bothered to blog at all with this drivel! Well, maybe I am coming out of hiding and this whole posting thing will be more regular. Or maybe I'll keep being a big non-posting jerk. Only time will tell.


Thank you guys for being there for me with the comments during my pity party. You all rock.