Betas

Sooooo...


My beta on Wedesday at 6dp5dt (11 dpo) was 18 and on Friday at 8dp5dt (13 dpo) it was 40. So that is very good!!!! Unfortunately the cute beta graph that everyone else has doesn't start until 12 dpo, so I can't really get my line to appear on it, but, from what I understand, those numbers are nearly perfect for a singleton pregnancy.


So, of course, we're very excited.  


When I got the BFP (gosh, I still can't believe a get to type "I" and "BFP" in the same sentence!) on Tuesday I was soooooooo excited - I told a ton of people.  I told my co-workers Eliza, Julie, Shawn, Brian (who told additional co-worker Jonathan), Jan (who didn't know it was a "secret" and started talking about it somewhat loudly in my very quiet open office), and Ed. I told Katie, my friend Kim, my sister, the blogosphere, and my old friends from my very first "TTC" board (we were the "TTC Spring/Summer 2007" crew. This BFP has been a LONG TIME COMING).  


So that's a lot of people to tell that you're five minutes pregnant.  Not necessarily wise, right? But I was FREAKING EXCITED, okay?  Plus I was 0% worried.  ZERO PERCENT.  I just felt like I am totally pregnant now and on July 31, 2010 I am totally bringing home a perfect, healthy baby.  I put a floating baby widget on my freaking blog.


Forest has since told his boss, all the co-workers in his immediate group (who are also pretty much my co-workers since we work at the same company), a bunch of other co-workers (including one woman to whom he announced it when we ran into her at a restaurant), and some friends he went out with last night.


On Thursday I started to get nervous.  I called for that first beta result and when it was an 18 I got scared.  That sounds soooooo low.  Most betas I hear are much higher than that.  Of course, I know most clinics don't test at freaking 11 dpo, but still. 18?  I started getting upset when Forest would tell people.


Then I got the 2nd beta: 40 and that should totally reassure me, right? It's the perfect number for 13 dpo...but the doubling time was 41.67 hours, whereas the mean for that range is, like, 31...so...you see where this is going...


DOUBT.


I am now just like every other infertile who finally achieves pregnancy: I am worried.  When I was pregnant with Katie I never ONCE worried I would miscarry. I didn't take multiple HPTs - I got one positive and never doubted again that I was pregnant.  I try to reassure myself with that.  I try to reassure myself with all kinds of things, but it's not working too well.


Then, last night, I was walking back from going out for drinks (my drink was iced tea, don't worry) with two co-workers (to whom I also announced my pregnancy) after an all-day off-site meeting, when my heel caught on a cobblestone and I twisted my ankle and fell on my butt (hurting my pride most of all, although my ankle is all swollen and bruised).  Forest's reaction? "You can't be falling down!!!"  Mmmmm Hmmmm. Thanks, babe. I didn't exactly do it on purpose!  But, of course, I was already worried that my fall had popped our precious baby right out of my uterine lining.  Yes, I know that's silly - I have pretty short legs - a fall to the ground really isn't very far - but still.  Worry.


Forest has promised not to tell any more co-workers who work at my office (I told him he could still tell people who work at his location).  I haven't decided whether I'll tell the rest of my family at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  


My first ultrasound is December 2nd.  That's not too far away, right?  Surely I'll feel reassured after that, huh? Deep breaths (and no more heels/cobblestones) till then.